Captain Weeniegeek in FormalwareLand, part 2
When last we left Captain Weeniegeek, he had just found out that he had at least three formal events to go to this year... which meant a tux.
"If I have to wear a tux that many times, it'll be cheaper to buy one than rent. And if I have to buy one, I'm going to look good."
And so, Captain Weeniegeek searched high and low on teh Intarwebs for the cool tux. And find one he did. Alas, being a supergeek of the world, he knew that "if you have to ask the price, it will be too much." Yea verily. And yet, onwards he searched for the tux in order to try it on. After all, supergeeeks must have proper fitting attire.
Upon finding the tux, he tried it on. And pimp he was. Seeing how pimp he was, he asked for a price. Captain Weeniegeek was not shocked at its fancy pricetag, for he was used to the shiny pricetag of all things geek. But he asked for used pricing as well. Just in case.
Captain Weeniegeek reported back to Queen Bee on the search for the tux. Upon the report of the price, Queen Bee laughed, and searched teh Intarwebs for the tux to be cheaper. Quickly, she came upon the TuxxMan in the great pig-latin realm of BE. And she found the tux for much cheaper. Captain Weeniegeek thought that it was a good idea, except for the bizarre stripe down the pants. So Queen Bee asked the TuxxMan to get the tux without the stripe.
It would appear that it is not a tux without the stripe. Captain Weeniegeek thought that this was a silly rule, but being unfamilar with the laws of Formalwearland, he finally submitted. And thus the great spending of Formalwearland was begun. Thinking his time in Formalwearland was coming to a close, Captain Weeniegeek rested on his laurels and thought. "Soon, I shall be pimp."
Unbeknownst to him, Queen Bee learned more of the laws of Formalwearland. These laws decreed that, in addition to the fly jacket and lame but manditory pants, one must also have the matching tie and vest. So Queen Bee met Captain Weeniegeek at the outfitters of Formalwearland to oversee operations personally.
At this point in our story, Captain Weeniegeek was weary of his travels through this foreign land. He quickly ceded command of the operation. Soon after, the vest and tie were added to the bounty. The quartermasters then pointed out the missing shoes and shirt. Captain Weeniegeek found a second wind and demanded a fly shirt, not the one with the bizarre ruffles on the front. He would have none of this thing that looked like a dickey on crack. So shoes, shirt, and studs were added to the bootie. Captain Weeniegeek was sure that the studs were there to ensure that he himself became the stud, but left that comment out.
The quartermaster took heed of all the requests of Captain Weeniegeek and Queen Bee, assuring them that, yes, he would be fly. After a small fortune be donated to the cause. That small fortune being greater than the sum of the jacket and pants. Captain Weeniegeek then decided that he must find the way out of Formalwearland soon, lest he be lost forever. Quickly he saved Queen Bee from the land of vow-renewals and ventured forth into the world again.
Stay tuned for the next adventure of Captain Weeniegeek in Formalwearland, when he encounters the tux itself, and the first Random Encounter (tm) - the Wedding!